CHARACTERS
TIDDLYWINKS: is a gnome bard who is very naive and youthful. Big eyes and dimples, she epitomizes adorableness. She excitedly talks A LOT in a sing-song voice and can ask questions for hours. Her name is absurdly long and no one has the patience to listen to her entire introduction, though she really tries to get the whole thing in. As, she is extremely proud of her name, because she “added all the extras herself!” Her goal in life is to bring joy to the world through her uplifting music and indomitable optimism. She is the leader of the band, however she has yet to decide on what to name it…
SMRRR: is TIDDLYWINKS BFF. An Ork heading toward his twilight years, he is a fishmonger. He is a very bad fishmonger as lets them “ripen up” before selling them to customers. Mostly enjoying the peace and quiet of napping by the river with a string tied to his toe, even SMRRR has no idea how TIDDLYWINKS talked him into joining her band. Upon meeting this peculiar ork, TIDDLYWINKS asked him to try out drumming for her band because “his drumming couldn’t be worse than his sushi.” This is debatable.
GRYFFIN: is a human male. Good looking and talented, he is wasted opportunity. Born into privilege, he has never done a minute of labor in his entire life. Now, with his father bestowing him the “honor” of becoming Sir. Gooder’s Squire, he desperately seeks escape from this life of perceived toil and trouble. Using the rest of his allowance he hired an impersonator guy, and joined up with his new friend Tiddlywinks and her troup of “bards” to travel the countryside for the summer responsibility free.
SHELBY SINISTER: is a teenage sea hag rebeling against her coven. She is gross. SHELBY’s hideousness is in juxtaposition to TIDDLYWINKs cuteness. Her hag mother and sister are repulsed by her desire to mingle with the “goodly folk” and subject victims to the “screeching torture”, as shelby’s matrons describe tiddelywinks voice. SHELBY has a very juvenile sense of humor full of gross out jokes as well as explicit sexual jokes. As teenagers do, she is exploring who she is and who she can be! This has led to her mixing her go-to comedy genres…To the horror of all who hear.
TOODLEZ: is the goblin booze master facilitates the band’s needs for travel and refreshments. Making very strange alcoholic concoctions that somehow work, but shouldn’t, he never fails to weird out/delight his patrons. Toodles is obsessed with having a good time. He is always happy and jovial. Unless, someone poops on his party! Then, the tough little bastard can get scrappy.
SIR DOUG GOODER: is a Dragonborn. His bright blue scales contrast with his white robes and gold plated armor. High Knight to the Temple of Justice. Has recently taken Gryffin on as his squire
GUY: Looks like any other guy. A professional impersonator. He’s a chameleon both in his subterfuge skills and his illusion magic. Gryffin has hired him to masquerade as a squire in his place.
SARABEL: a fetching half elf woman. She is a traveler in need of help!
WALTER: SARABEL’s father. He is human and old. And, hurt too. Got bit by gnolls
GNOLLS: are humanoid hyenas. Their God has cursed them to eternal hunger. They are ragged and ravenous.
SETTING: The Hardborne lands are a place of magic and wonder. It is a melting pot of mythical creatures as well as humans. As beautiful and whimsical this land is, outside the law and order of settlements, to an inexperienced adventurer, the Hardborne lands can be a brutal place to survive. With packs of gnolls roaming the countryside and barbarians conquering from the east, It is not uncommon for travelers to be found dead along the road, or not be found at all.
PAGE 1 (Five Panels)
This page puts the 5 panels one in each corner and one in the middle (PANEL 3)
Panel 1. SMRRR making a derpy face. A really derpy face!
CAP: Race: Ork Class Monk Stats: STR-5 DEX-3 CON-3 WIS-2 INT-1 CHA-2
Panel 2. GRYFFIN posing like its a senior picture and he does not want to disappoint mom..
CAP: Race: Human Class: Cleric Stats: STR-2 DEX-3 CON-1 WIS-2 INT-4 CHA-3
Panel 3. TIDDLYWINKS is dancing. She sparkles.
CAP: Race: Gnome Class: Bard Stats: STR-1 DEX-3 CON-2 WIS-1 INT-3 CHA-5
Panel 4. TOODLEZ is drinking and talking into an uninterested person’s ear.
CAP: Race: Goblin Class: Inventor Stats: STR-2 DEX-3 CON-5 WIS-1 INT-3 CHA-2
Panel 5. SHELBY is in a dirty alley with wind blowing up her skirt. She is doing the Maralyn Monroe pose. But, it’s gross.
CAP: Race: Sea Hag Class: Druid Stats: STR-3 DEX-2 CON-4 WIS-3 INT-3 CHA -1
The Hardborne lands.
PAGE 2 (One Panel)
This page depicts spears from the edges of the page pointing inward to the five main character’s surrendering in the middle. This is at a high angle close enough to just get their shocked faces and spear tips. They look scared.
A Troupe of Wayward Bards
SMRRRR .
CAP. Beatin’ stix
GRYFFIN
CAP: F.N.G. (fuckin’ new guy)
SHELBY SINISTER
CAP: Swamp fiddle
TIDDLEYWINKS: Umm…Hi, would you like a cupcake? My name is…..
CAP: Ukulele and singer-songwriter Leader of the band
TOODLEZ
CAP: Brings the party Band manager
PAGE 3 (One Panel)
Full portrait of a cluttered dive bar. A stage at the top of the page, and a bar to the right. A small dance floor in front of the stage with a few tables spread about. There are a few rough looking patrons dotting the space. GRYFFIN is at a table in the foreground speaking with GUY. They are playing chess. The bartender, a dark bearded Dwarf, is shouting toward TIDDLYWINKS who is singing on the stage. SHELBY is on the dance floor clutching her latest romantic victim as he squirms to escape. TOODLEZ and SMRRR are fighting a group of patrons. TOODLEZ is going “fisty cuffs” while SMRRR has a ruffian in a rear naked choke.
CAP: About a two weeks earlier in Hardborne City. A tavern called “The Rathole.”
TIDDLYWINKS: OK, just one more, I give my word as my oath.
BARTENDER: Damn it! No-one asked for an encore. I done paid ye, now get off my stage ya damn beardless brat!
TIDDLYWINKS: This song is also my name! (singing) Tiddlywinks Parcheesi Backgammon…
SFX: strum strum
SHELBY: Is that a wand in your pocket…
TOODLEZ: I’ll tell you when I’ve had enough!
SMRRR: Smrrr’s clever trick is to leave the fish at room temperature for at least four days…
SFX choke
GRYFFIN: Fuck what he thinks. If you do your job I’ll be long gone before he even finds out…
GUY: So I just play “good little squire” for a week then dip? That is what I do.
PAGE 4 (Seven Panels)
One long one across the top, two in the middle, and four across the bottom.
Panel 1: Side view of bar scene featuring GRYFFIN and GUY’s table center right. They are drinking and focusing on their game. TIDDLYWINKS is performing on the left, and in the background center is the Dwarven barkeep.
TIDDLYWINKS (BG): (singing) Badminton Jax Crazy Eights Tops Chess Hopscotch Marbles Capture the Flag……
BARTENDER (BG): Damn it, SHUT UP TIDDLYWINKS!
GRYFFIN: And I have paid you handsomely for that skill, and you better be good. If Sir Doug catches you, we are both fucked! So, watch your grubby mitts. He will notice things missing. Just polish his armor, and enjoy the privileges that come with squireship. Just make sure sign up for the pilgrimage and get on that damn ship! You do that, no-one will ever know.
GUY: And you are going to be doing what exactly?
TIDDLYWINKS (BG): (singing) …Hopscotch Marbles Skeeball Musical Chairs…
Panel 2: Close up of the “chess like” game. A hand reaches to make a move.
GRYFFIN (OP): I joined the band! Don’t look at me like that. Do you know any other musicians? I know they suck, but Tiddlywinks said that shitty music is all the rage at the people’s palace. And, Toodlez has a cart and a horse so I figure it beats putting up with “The Rules General” all summer.
GUY (OP): (mumbling) no, you delegate that to me-
GRYFFIN (OP): -And I paid you handsomely.
Panel 3: Side view of table and the conversation. Only now, TIDDLYWINKS is standing on the table, has wrecked their game, and is dramatically finishing her song. GRYFFIN and GUY look up at her in bewilderment.
TIDDLYWINKS: Ring Toss Pretty Pretty Princess Dominos…
GRYFFIN: What could go wrong?
SFX: Table creaks
Panel 4: TOODLES is standing over his vanquished opponent.He confidently drinks his booze.
TOODLEZ: Bet you two gold the table breaks.
TIDDLYWINKS (BG): (singing) …Jenga Wheel of Fortune Boggle Rummy Hacky Sack…
Panel 5: SMRRR and the vagrant he is choking out are featured from the waist up featuring the patron’s desperate expression juxtaposed to SMRRR’s very calm demeanor.
SMRRR: SMRRR take bet.
TIDDLYWINKS (OP): (singing) …Charades Hot Potato Hungry Hungry Hippos Mall Madness Musical Chairs……Farkle Blackjack Double Dutch Sorry…
BARTENDER: (OP) I’m Warnin’ you girlie. Don’t make me 86 you again.
Panel 6: SHELBY is dancing with a patron that is currently turned away from her losing his lunch through the act of barfing all over the place. SHELBY is giving him “the sexy look.” This is the reason for his puke session.
SHELBY: I’m with Smrrr.(looking at her “captive”) I bet your HARD wood can go ALL NIGHT long!
Panel 7: TIDDLYWINKS smashes through the table, scattering drinks food and game pieces everywhere. She still finishes her song.
TIDDLYWINKS: … Bullshit!!!!
PAGE 5 (Four Panels)
Top ⅔ of page frame 1. The other three frames across bottom third. Frame 2 split diagonally.
Panel 1: Scenery shot of Sir Doug Gooder’s keep. Huge and extravagant, this home resembles A victorian style church. A river flows nearby. The sun is shining and the leaves are green.
CAP: A few days later. Hardbourne City. The Gooder Academy for Squires.
Panel 2: (split frame) One side shows GUY hiding behind a wall. The other side shows GRYFFIN but with the same expression and clothes GUY was wearing.
Panel 3: POV shot from back of GUY’s head showing the sanctuary where a red carpet leads to a pulpit. SIR DOUG GOODER stands behind the pulpit flanked by 2 armed men. Other boys sit in the pews.
SIR DOUG: … Tardiness is not acceptable. Your name squire?
GUY: Umm gu… uh gr… Gryffin sir.
SIR DOUG: My superiors call me Sir. You will call me “My Lordship” is that clear.
GUY: …Y-Yes Your…My Lordship…
SIR DOUG: I have my eye on you… Gryffin. Sit with the others!
Panel 4: Closeup on GUY as he sits with the others.
GUY: (thinking) Damn, this guy is strict. What have I gotten into?
SIR DOUG: (BG): … As I was saying before, the consequences for breaking your oath…
PAGE 6 (Eight Panels)
Panels 5 and six side by side to indicate they are happening simultaneously.
Panel 1: An orderly and clean dorm GUY relaxes on the bed.
GUY: (thinking) This is the life. Easy money, and a vacation on the way!
Panel 2: Scenery shot of the troupe of bards riding on their cart traveling down the road.
TIDDLYWINKS: … and you won’t believe what she said next! Well first you gotta know about her brother…
Panel 3: Overhead view of the bards camping by a lake. TOODLEZ is brushing the horse. GRYFFIN and TIDDLYWINKS are lounging by the campfire with SHELBY nearby devouring a plate of fish. SMRRR is by the lake, fishing.
TIDDLYWINKS: … Then the magistrate revealed that the child was NOT his! In fact, I knew it all along because I noticed….
Panel 4: GUY and SIR DOUG are sparring with rapiers while other recruits watch on.
GUY: (thinking) Damn he’s good! I’m not even holding back!
SIR DOUG: That’s it! Good Block. Parry this one! Now slice…
GUY: Thank you, My Lordship
Panel 5: SIR DOUG, his family, and GUY are enjoying a meal with lots of food and guests. Servants bustle around busily.
SIR DOUG: … Me some more of that ham, Squire. Now, Lady Gooder, in regards to our daughter’s suitor…
GUY (slicing ham): Yes, My Lordship.
Panel 6: TIDDLEYWINKS, GRYFFIN, SMRRR, and SHELBY are playing music for an excited crowd. The stage is a gallows. TOODLEZ is near the stage selling beer and getting wasted himself. A magistrate looks on nearby, scowling.
TIDDLYWINKS (singing): … Foot Noose. You lose. String up those Sunday goons!
Panel 7: TIDDLYWINKS, SMRRR, TOODLEZ, GRYFFIN, and SHELBY are at a wild party. They are all socializing with the various partygoers. SHELBY is pointing at one of her body parts.
SHELBY: WRITE SOMETHING DIRTY HERE!!!!!!!!!
Panel 8: In a forest GUY and SIR DOUG are hunting a stag. GUY is pointing out the beast’s position while SIR DOUG is drawing his bow.
SIR DOUG: Well done, Squire Gryffin. You are progressing much faster than expected. You will be ready for service in no time.
PAGE 7 (Six Panels)
Two on top. One long one in the middle (panel 3). And three along the bottom of the page.
Panel 1: Overhead view of GRYFFIN relaxing with his hands behind his head next to the campfire.
SHELBY (OP): … The Shitbags! How about that?
GRYFFIN: That’s the worst troup name suggested yet. How are we supposed to get gigs if people hear that? (dramatically)“Come one come all! Come get a load of these shitbags.” We’ll be broke in days!
Panel 2: TOODLEZ is brushing his horse.
TOODLEZ: We’re broke now.
GRYFFIN (OP): WHAT!? Wasn’t yesterday a paying gig?
TOODLEZ: Yeah, but Tiddlywinks said free drinks for ladies and kids, and I got wiped out. Hell, I think we lost money. But hey, at least we didn’t come off as shitbags.
Panel 3: Scene has panned back to include TOODLEZ brushing his horse and talking with the now standing GRYFFIN, and a nearby tent that SHELBY is walking away from zipping her pants.
SHELBY: Whatever. If you ask me, Those mooching prudes are shitbags. And, so are my moms! And boys that don’t take me into the woods and take off my-
GRYFFIN: -OK. You can stop there ya perv. I still don’t like the idea of being known by such a low class word. I don’t even like to say it… (mumbles) shitbags…
Panel 4: TIDDLYWINK’S disembodied voice is coming from her bedazzled pink tent.
TIDDLYWINKS: Shitbags?
Panel 5: Same tent, but a haggard TIDDLYWINKS is crawling out of it. She is badly hungover and her glow has turned into a vague cloud of misery. It’s a wonder she survived the previous night’s party. She looks like she is going to cry.
TIDDLYWINKS: You guys think that we’re… (mumbles) shitbags?
Panel 6: TIDDLEYWINNKS is suddenly over her brown bottle flu and is sparkling and dancing again.
TIDDLYWINKS: I LOVE IT! SHITBAGS! (singing) Shitbags we’re the shitbags smelly bags of shit…
TOODLEZ (OP): Bad news, Gryffin, I guess we’re shitbags now.
PAGE 8 (Seven Panels)
Two on top, two in middle and three on the bottom.
Panel 1: GUY, SIR DOUG, and his family are on the docks. GUY and other trainees are loading the ship in preparation for their pilgrimage. It is raining.
CAP: Hardborne City. one month later. The day of the pilgrimage.
SIR DOUG: Well, this is farewell to you, Squire Gryffin. I have to say, contrary to the reports I received about your attitude and behavior, this experience has been a pleasure. May the Gods bless you.
GUY: Yes, My Lordship. (thinking) What a moron!
Panel 2 Scenery shot with the Shitbags and their cart rolling along the trail with the mountains and setting sun in the background.
CAP: Meanwhile
Panel 3: GUY is walking up the ramp with supplies, a mischievous grin on his face.
GUY: (thinking) Almost home free!
Panel 3: Overhead view of the cart traveling down the path. This view reveals hidden gnolls along the surrounding bushes. Down the path from them a man (WALTER) and a woman (SARABEL) are being harassed by the hyena like humanoids.
SARABEL: HELP! HELP! Get Away! Bad Dog!
Panel 5: Close up of 2 gnolls turning to look behind them. Blood covering their mouths and chests. Hunting has been good.
TIDDLYWINKS (OP): Hey you mangy mutts!
Panel 6: Team shot of the Shitbags. SMRRR on the far right brandishing his fishing pole like a battle ax. On the far left SHELBY is posing seductively in the most disgusting way she can think of. TOODLEZ is next to her fists up like a 1950s boxer. Next to SMRRR is GRYFFIN who looks out of place and lost. TIDDLYWINKS is in the middle holding a tray of colorful cupcakes. She is smiling with all her cuteness.
TIDDLEYWINKS: Hey, would you guys like a cupcake? My name is Tiddlywinks Parchees-
Panel 7: A doglike hand is knocking a cupcake off of a tray.
TIDDLEYWINKS: Hey! WHY!?
SFX: growl
PAGE 9 (Eight Panels)
Three on top Two in the middle and Three on the bottom.
Panel 1: A dog shaped foot is smashing a cupcake to oblivion.
Panel 2: TIDDLYWINKS is boiling over with anger. She stares daggers.
Panel 3: TIDDLYWINKS cheers as TOODLEZ smashes a beer bottle over the gnoll’s head
TOODLEZ: Party foul, bitch!
Panel 4: TIDDLYWINKS and TOODLEZ high five over fallen gnoll.
TIDDLYWINKS: How about “The Wolf Dogz?”
TOODLEZ (chuckles): Really? Band names at a time like this?
SFX: slap
Panel 5: Focus on SMRRR doing battle with 2 gnolls. A gnoll is sniffing around a bush in the background. SMRRR has one gnoll hooked with his fishing pole and is yanking back with his left arm as the beast attempts to flee. The second gnoll is biting SMRR’s right bicep. SMRR’s focus is on this gnoll.
SMRRR: Don’t eat Smrrr, stupid giggledog, Smrrr have fishes!
SFX: Chomp chomp
Panel 6: Focus on GRYFFIN’s terrified face as a gnoll looms over the bushes behind looking for where he is hiding. The gnoll sniffs the air.
GRYFFIN (whispering): Maybe I should have gone to training after all. Shit I’m gonna die!!!
SFX: sniff
Panel 7: Side view of the gnoll being tapped on the shoulder be SHELBY and GRYFFIN cowers in the bushes. The gnoll is utterly mortified.
SHELBY: Hey there stud. I like doggy style. SFX: (sexy growl)
Panel 8: The gnoll is fleeing. SHELBY looks distressed as if her boyfriend was going to jail. And GRYFFIN is rising from his hiding spot looking very relieved.
SHELBY: Hey! Where are you going? Come back! (under breath) Damn, every time.
GNOLL: Arf arf arf arf arf (whine)
PAGE 10 (Six Panels)
Panel 1: SMRRR now has the hooked gnoll lifted in the air by his neck (hook still attached). The other gnoll is still attached to his arm. TIDDLYWINKS is kicking the biting gnoll in his balls.
SMRRR: Smelly doggies get…
GNOLL: ARF!?
SFX: SMACK
Panel 2: SMRRR is casting off panel. TIDDLYWINKS is standing over the crumpled bitey gnoll and mocking the defeated monster.
SMRRR: BATHS!!!!
SFX: Fling
Panel 3: Big panel in the middle of the page showing a closeup of the gnoll’s face as he flies through the air, hook in mouth. A look in his eyes like he is seeing a boulder in the river rapidly get closer, because that is exactly what he is seeing.
GNOLL: Yipe!
Panel 4: Half in the river half on the rock, the gnoll is crumpled and drowning. A fishing line runs from him to off panel.
SMRRR: Smrrr prefer catfish. Dogfish dumb.
Panel 5: Aerial shot of SMRRR fishing with his “new bait” TIDDLYWINKS by his side. SHELBY is chasing a gnoll from the field. TOODLEZ is looking around. GRYFFIN is still by his bush at the edge of the panel.
TOODLEZ: Hey, where did those people go?
SMRRR: Dunno, but Smrr gonna catch ‘em somethin’ real big for sure!
Panel 6: Side view of a startled GRYFFIN as a hand reaches from OP to tap him on the shoulder.
PAGE 11 (Nine Panels)
Panels 8 and 9 are long and stacked on top of each other.
Panel 1: A side view of GUY is loading the ship. A hand reaches OP to tap him on the shoulder. GUY is shocked.
CAP: Meanwhile. Back at the ship.
SIR DOUG: Oh. And, one more thing before you go. Who are you? Really?
GUY (whispers): Shit
SIR DOUG: You know it is a crime against the crown to-
Panel 2: GUY is sucker punching SIR DOUG. SIR DOUG is absolutely shocked at his audacity. GUY has a look of desperation in his eyes.
GUY: Hell no! I aint rotting in that dungeon!
Panel 3: GUY is being tackled by 2 armed men while trying to escape down the cobblestone street. SIR DOUG stands watching in the foreground.
Panel 4: Split panel. On one side GRYFFIN is spinning around and drawing his hand crossbow. On the other side he is firing it off wildly into the air as a beautiful Half-Elf woman knocks it to the side and palm strikes his nose.
SFX whoosh click splat
Panel 5: The woman and TIDDLYWINKS stand over GRYFFIN’s prone body.
TIDDLYWINKS: That was totally inappropriate man! (to the woman) are you ok? Can I get you anything? We’re shitbags! I’m Tiddlywinks….
Panel 6: GUY stands before SIR DOUG in a court setting. He is cuffed and scared.
SIR DOUG: Based on the story of this petty criminal, I have the authority to rule Gryffin of Riverfork guilty of oath breaking. As acolytes of the God of Justice it is our duty, brothers, to find this vagabond and bring him to his deserving fate.
ALL IN ROOM: Hazzah!
Panel 7: The Shitbags and their guests are around a campfire talking.
SARABEL: When they got distracted by you guys, we hid in the river bank until I thought it was safe. Could you help us get to Crossroads? My dad is really hurt and if I have to carry him I don’t think we will make it!
TIDDLYWINKS: As leader of the ban…..
GRYFFIN (winking): I pledge an oath upon my very name, Gryffin of Riverfork to see you to your destination safely fair lass! It is only proper for me, as I will become a knight one day.
EVERYONE: yuk.
Page 12 (Two Panels)
Each half the page to show they are happening simultaneously.
Panel 1: A wild party in a tavern is raging while the Shitbags are performing on stage. Music notes and joy all about.
CAP: Along the way both groups found fun…
Panel 2: SIR DOUG and his holy knights are jumping over a fort wall to get at bandits. A wild battle is depicted with violence and gore everywhere.
CAP: …in their own ways.
PAGE 13 (3 Panels)
Two on top. A big one on the bottom.
Panel 1: The Shitbags are arriving at Crossroads, a small town of a handful of buildings. Mostly poor farmers live here. However, there is a temple that employs a cleric capable of healing magic. As they pass through the gate the town is deserted. The group is gathered in front of the cart except for SMRRR and SHELBY who are hauling ass to the bar. GUY is leaning on the cart trying to look smooth while SARABEL is dragging her father across the road.
GRYFFIN: OK, so once you get your dad settled in, just meet us at the tavern. I can get us a discount, I’m kinda a big deal around here so…
SARABEL: ok bye
Panel 2: GUY is being put on a prison ship. He looks miserable.
GUARD: ok bye
GUY: (thinking) Hope that son of a bitch is having the time of his life. ‘Cause when I get out of this I will find him…
Panel 3: TIDDLYWINKS and GRYFFIN approach the Tavern as the rest of the group waits outside. SHELBY leaning on the building. SMRRR and TOODLEZ playing a dice game.
TIDDLYWINKS: … don’t worry about it. A week on Smrrr’s routine will make you buff as ever. Then you can show Sarabel your pecs! (giggles)
GRYFFIN: No! I won’t. I mean… I… Hey why are you guys not inside?
TOODLEZ: Closed. It’s locked.
PAGE 14 (Eight Panels)
3 on top and 5 tall ones underneath.
Panel1: TIDDLYWINKS casting magic. A “Knock” spell to be precise. I picture blue swirlies from her hands to the door.
TIDDLYWINKS: Pish Posh, do you know who we are? We’re the Shitbags! No door is locked to us!
Panel 2: The door being magicked. Waves of colorful energy.
SFX: knock
Panel 3: Overhead shot of the Shitbags peering through the door.
GRYFFIN: it smells like Smrrr’s “end of week surprise.”
Panel 4: Closeup of GRYFFIN’s horrified eyes
Panel 5: Close up of SHELBY’s horrified eyes (with flies)
Panel 6: Close up of TIDDLYWINK’s horrified eyes (with sparkles)
Panel 7: Close up of SMRRR’s derpy eyes
Panel 8: Close up of TOODLEZ’s angry eyes.
SXF: gasp
PAGE 15 (One Panel)
Death and gore within the tavern. The people inside were brutalized relentlessly.
PAGE 16 (One Panel)
Overhead view of the whole town showing dozens of men with a group of guys surrounding the Shitbags, pointing spears at them.
SOLDIER: I think we have some new guests! Hahahaha!
SOLDIER 2: Let’s send ‘em to the Hells!
SOLDIER 3: YEAH!!
PAGE 17 (Five Panels)
Panel 1: SHELBY is smoking a cigarette and posing seductively.
SHELBY: Oh boy! Look at all these shafts!
Panel 2: TOODLEZ is shrugging.
TOODLEZ: This party is dead.
Panel 3: SMRRR is wielding his fishing pole and looking to the side inquisitively.
SMRRR: Something smells fishy here…
Panel 4: GRYFFIN has a panicked look on his face and his hands on his head.
GRYFFIN: Oh no! Sarabel!
Panel 5: TIDDLYWINKS at the apex of her cuteness is presenting a new tray of fresh cupcakes smiling from ear to ear. She is sparkling.
TIDDLYWINKS: Hi! Would you guys like some cupcakes? We’re the Shitbags! My name is Tiddlywinks Parchesie Backgammon….
End Issue 1