And I, want to take the time to
Acknowledge the loss
And I, want to take this moment to denounce the time we spent
Dreaming, loving, and lying to what we were

The time we should’ve reclaimed
Too soon, and not quickly enough
The lingering pain of your hand upon mine
The biting sting of your kiss and stubble upon my lips

And you, didn’t fight enough, nor did I
Hold on tighter when we lost the notion of us
And you, brought an emotional unfeeling
Blessed. and numb.

When you said leave
And I, wept, walked
And you, clutched, close
Imploring me to stay

The messy ending, the entropy of you
Turning me into my tormentor and I
Disappearing the next morning, leaving and hurting
Pushing upon our collective fears

Time in friend and familial guest rooms
My mind, my heart, losing another I loved
Writhing within for a span beyond a year
I sought something absent

At times, I could not do it, and at times I
Could not need or want, eventually I
Consumed to fill the void in the shape
Of your silhouette, the shape of family

Hours consumed in chairs, wandered
Wonder amongst people in the same
Raft, clinging to the oars of when will this pass?
Three times a week, for years of courage
Leading to strength I didn’t believe I deserved
With the ideation of nothing
Left within this essence of humanity

And here I stand
Upon the precipice of restoration
Of the blessed return of feeling
Numb. no longer.

Still alone, but not a loan to someone else’s desires

Biography:

Josh is a proud Aims alumnus who has returned home to the college after receiving a bachelor’s degree in psychology with a minor in sociology from UNC and gaining experience within several other organizations. His writing is more than a craft; the paper, pen, computer screen, and keyboard have served as vital counseling roles throughout his life. There is a specific magic found when he is truly in the moment, allowing the words to flow freely from mind to hand. It is when he is in “the zone” he finds a unique blend of comfort and excitement, especially as he begins to truly get to know the characters he has created.

An avid gamer, Josh often uses Dungeons & Dragons as a creative laboratory. He is known to build his fictional characters through gameplay first, playing them out at the table to get a feel for their voices and motivations before translating them into his novels. This passion for storytelling was deeply rooted in his developmental years, inspired by his grandmother’s love of writing. His primary goal is to create works of fiction and poetry that center on LGBTQ+ characters because he wants to have younger readers who identify within the community a safe space to relate to characters that make them feel seen. He draws additional inspiration from a diverse range of authors, including TJ Klune, Nicky James, Jay Bell, Holly Black, Mercedes Lackey, and Laurell K. Hamilton.