a funeral a crowd of black swarming around a closed casket hot tears on cold cheeks four words, five syllables the sky became cloudy once the golden child died and I remained they look at me I know what they’re thinking four words, five syllables the dull cry of a violin footsteps far too gentle on wooden floors the smell of musk and old perfume and something earthy a reception for death four words, five syllables a paper plate filled with food I have no intention of eating pitiful eyes burning into my face I don’t look up from my lap the words remain on repeat four words, five syllables an eerie ride home the car void of your laughter no one turns on the radio and Dad won’t look at me through the rearview mirror his lips pressed tightly to hold back the painful truth I know he wishes to say four words, five syllables sitting alone in my bedroom just weeks ago you sat here with me one second the colored pencils you bought me for my birthday sit on my desk the next, I have thrown them across the room my heart shatters with them scattered color amidst the darkness four words, five syllables a car crash they say you weren’t in pain how would they know that? four words, five syllables you were headed to pick me up I called you nine times I wasn’t supposed to be out so late and you weren’t meant to be driving four words, five syllables lifeless eyes both yours and mine everyone here thinks the same thing the rotten truth is four words, five syllables it should’ve been me