Archived: Earth Travels by Madison Williamson

Log Entry 10

So far, this planet is quite plain. It has fantastical views and what not, but nothing too extraordinary. Humans are weird creatures. I have always heard that they are these incredibly intelligent beings, but they still wipe their own bottoms. How pathetic. They also sleep for recreational purposes, which I find odd. One of my roommates, Tommy, tends to sleep frequently throughout the day. Yesterday, he said, “Gahlee, George, they’re called naps! Haven’t you ever had one?” I, of course, haven’t, but they sound quite boring.

My other roommate, Ben, spends half the day combing his hair. He reminds me of an enemy I have from a distant planet called Egonion. It is full of vain beings that only care about how attractive they are.

I discovered a delectable treat yesterday.  It has tasty sauce that is red and this yellow, gooey substance that stretches when you try to eat it. Tommy told me, “It’s called Pizza George! Gahlee, have you really never had some?” I, of course, haven’t, but it is quite delicious, and I wish to devour as much of it as possible before I return home.

I don’t believe any of my roommates have become suspicious of me. I have done well to blend in with these humans. Tommy seems to drink a lot of this wheat substance called ‘beer’ and watch a sports activity in which an oldy shaped object is tossed around called ‘football’. That must be the normal human thing to do. Oh, and I discovered that you must always clothe yourself in Public. On my first say here, Tommy said, “Gahlee, George! Cover up your junk, no one wants to see that!” I, of course, don’t have a clue what he was referring to as ‘junk,’ but I figured that was just his weird way of telling me to put on trousers.

Log Entry 12

This land I reside in has a strange leader. He is an older man whose face looks as if he needs to defecate. His skin resembles the color of orange, and his hair looks as if it is ready for nesting season. I watched him in the Television; his speech is quite odd. He talks in this monotonous voice while he swings his finger around. His favorite word seems to be either ‘wrong’ or ‘China.’ Maybe he is an alien too.

Log Entry 18

I recently discovered that Ben is also an alien. Yesterday, I accidentally read his entire journal (I was just looking for a pen and there it was, lying on his desk, asking to be flipped through). It was filled with Log entries that speak of his home planet, Egonion. It seems that I am not surprised.

I am hoping Ben will not discover my identity. But, I am ready for anything. This apartment does not need two aliens.

P.S. I may have eaten too much Pizza today. My stomachs do not feel well. Tommy said, “Gahlee, George! You had 12 slices of pizza? You shouldn’t eat that much!” I, of course, didn’t listen, and continued with my 13th slice.

Log Entry 29

What an eventful afternoon! I caught Ben reading my journal. He said he was just looking for a pen, but I didn’t believe him. He asked me where I was from, and I said that I was from Earth, but he didn’t believe me. He gave me an odd glare, which I returned. Then, he began attacking me. He first went for a kick to my head, but I dodged it. He secondly threw an uppercut at my jaw, but I deflected it. He then jumped impressively high and body slammed me. I must admit, his skills in combat were quite admirable.

But, I had consumed so much Pizza for lunch that the impact of his body slam seemed to make my insides burst. The Pizza I had consumed came right back up from my stomach, spewed out of my mouth, and covered his pretty boy face. Being an Egonian, this was a battle Ben was no longer able to fight. He took one glance in the mirror, was promptly repulsed by his own reflection, and ran away crying. I heard the distant sound of a portal being created and a wailing cry before silence rang through the apartment. That is when Tommy walked in, looking as if he had just arisen from another nap.

“Gahlee, George, what is with all the ruckus?” He rubbed his eyes from sleep and surveyed the room. “And why is there puke all over the floor?”

Tommy’s ability to sleep through such commotion seems uncharacteristically human.



Bio: Being a student at Aims has given me amazing opportunities to learn more about the arts, creative writing in particular. I am hoping to use my experiences here as a stepping stone for my future as a writer. When I was in the fifth grade, I was voted most likely to write a novel. Ever since then, I have always wanted to be a writer. Creating fictional worlds and unique characters to live in them has always been fascinating to me. I am so grateful for all of the people who have inspired me and helped become a better writer here at Aims!