Archived: Adrenaline by Hannah Taskila


May 16, 2013:

Dark brown coffee fills my tumbler to the rim and today is the day I graduate; four miserable years of high school will be coming to an end. Getting ready for the day ahead I start to suffer from some nostalgia of the last four years. Yes, things were miserable after Matt, but we had quite the ride. Unfortunately, that ride ended in both of us almost being killed but who hasn’t made stupid decisions. The truth is I loved him, and he loved me but we were bad for each other. We had known each other our whole lives and from kindergarten we were inseparable; it was fate for us to be together.

We both maintained a normal life on the surface but we craved the adrenaline rush our night lives gave us. We would sneak out, go on the edge of the town line and do everything we could to catch that next rush. Whether it was going 100 down a dirt road or playing chicken with an unsuspecting car- you name it, we did it. Two years ago, Matt took his brother’s brand new Dodge Ram, and we took it for a spin; that spin put us right in front of a semi. Everything changed that night. My heart died that day with Matt. His family left shortly after his funeral, and they blamed me for his rebellious nature, and for his death. They hated me for living. I knew they would trade my life for his without question.

They hated me for living. I knew they would trade my life for his without question.

I hear my name being called to receive my diploma, and with shaking legs I walk closer to the stage, feeling off-center. Matt should be here and I shouldn’t. I hear my small family cheering as I walk off stage, and can’t help but be thankful for them. They were here for me when no one else would be. Matt was loved by everyone, and I was made the pariah, no matter what the truth was. It was a small town and Matt was one of the town’s star kids no matter how much trouble he got in.

I said my goodbyes to my family and walked to my car. Ever since Matt died, I did what I could to stay away from people. Especially at school, the hate was too much for me to handle. I was ready to leave, get away from this town, this life.

“Congratulations, Amy.” I heard from behind me. I look over my shoulder and standing there is Matt’s dad.

“Thank you. What are you doing here Dan?”

“I came to see the graduation that my son should have been here for.”

I looked at the man I was once close with. He had aged, bags littered beneath his eyes. I was sad for him; I was sad for all of them. There was nothing I could have done; I wasn’t driving, but they didn’t care about that.

“I’m sorry, Dan, I wish he would have been here. I miss him, more than you know. I loved him, Dan, I truly did.”

“It’s a funny thing that you say that, Amy, because we will be seeing just how much you loved him.” He started to approach me, and I tried to back up but my back was already against my bronco.

“Dan, what are you talking about?”

“Amy, we have things to discuss. You’re coming with me.”

I felt a pinch in my neck, I reached up and felt a dart deep in the muscle. My head swerves to the right and I see Dean, Matt’s brother about 30 feet away with a dart gun. The world started to spin, my legs gave out, and everything disappeared.

August 24, 2013:

I sit in this cold dark abyss, waiting for Dan to come down. For three months now he has held me captive. Every day he makes me tell him over and over about the accident, how he died, how I lived. Every day since he took me, psychological torture has me in the throes, while he has Dean give me lashes for everything Matt doesn’t get to do. I have nothing left, no voice to scream, just hoarse sobs. I weep for Matt, I weep for me, I weep for Dan and Dean. Maybe I do deserve this. Maybe this is what I deserve for always taking things too far.

“I’m sorry, Matty.”

September 16, 2013

Four months of this, I can’t take anymore; I need to get out of here. Dan will not win this fight; my life will not be lost, too. He stomped down the steps and my heart beat increases with every step. I had spent four months getting to know my surroundings, and there was no windows but I know that Dan always keeps a knife in on his belt. He walks up to me. I don’t look up, I don’t even acknowledge his existence. He grabs me by the side of my right arm, yanking me up. As my other arm becomes parallel with his waist I grab the knife, and stab. I stab him for every torturous moment he put me through, I stab him to save my life. I regret nothing, I am nothing, he is nothing. I have my final adrenaline rush.

November 20, 2013:

During these long winter nights, I look out at the snow and think about my past. I think about the love I once had; the love that was gone in an instant and how I wish I could take his place. I picture how I will one day find my family again and get a new start. I have been in hiding for the last two months, 4 days, 15 hours, and 36 minutes. All I can do is count the days and hope that one day soon I can leave. I have been stripped of the person I was, and forever hearing his voice, screaming at me. Listing everything Matt doesn’t get to do. My wounds have been covered by fresh pink skin leaving scars forever. Always a reminder of my punishment for living on the edge.



I am 24 years old and I love writing. I would love to make writing my career and I plan to hopefully publish some novels. Fall 2016 is my final semester at Aims and I have loved every class. I am recently married and I have my husband to thank for my completion of my degree. I wouldn’t have been able to complete this journey without him. 🙂